Anyone have a family/sibling transplant and wish they didn't?

Wen

Hey, random question and i know it prob sounds weird to be asking it. Don't get me wrong I'm super grateful for them saving my life- I'm now 7 yrs post transplant. However, their is a weight and a guilt that i hate. It seems i can't thank my consultant for all he has done without somehow coming across as insensitive to my sister. I just wrote a new thank you blog to my consultant yet my mum comments how ultimately it was my sister who saved me not him. I really want to write a blog post about how given the choice i'd never have opted for it, or if i did it again why i'd want an unrelated donor. It seems silly especially when i know that there are people out there with no match. However, right now i really wish it hadn't happened in this way. Just wondering if anyone else out there felt the same?

greg777

Hi Wen,
Really interesting topic, thanks for raising it. I had a transplant from my brother. I think I get what you mean re: pressure within a family, it must be horrible to think you almost have to justify your existence because of a family member. But I really hope that your family will slowly come to understand that people donate to give another person the chance of life - I hope very few people do it to hold something over someone else.
The way I look at it, everyone involved is fantastic, there is no competition in it. My consultant was great, the nurses were great, the admin assistants were great, the cooks were great, the cleaners were great, my support network was great, my brother was great. It couldn't have happened without any of them.
For me, though, there is something extra special about my brother being my donor. He is my hero, pure and simple, always has been, always will be. He never asks for thanks, nothing is ever too much, he just wanted his little brother to stay alive.
Really hoping you manage to sort things out soon.
Cheers,
Greg

had0171

Sorry for the late reply - but I do know how you feel, as my sister donated her stem cells to me and there is a feeling of being beholden to her for the rest of my life, and always having to show how grateful I am. Don't get me wrong - I am incredibly grateful to her as it was tough for her and she has saved my life - but I would have done the same for her if the situation was reversed as I'm sure you'd do the same for you sister.
But as your other reply has stated - there are SO many people to feel grateful for - some of whom played a very major part in the whole process, and without their hard work and knowledge this would not have happened no matter how good a match your sister was...so yes, together WITH you sister, your consultant did save your life...your sister certainly could not have done it without your consultant - something to bear in mind.